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The Maiden Voyage « The official website of BRENTON EVANS.

The Maiden Voyage

June 1st, 2009 | 1 Comment

Aaand we’re off. I’m the captain of this domain and—due to tough, recessionary times—I will also be your tour guide today. First off, I’d like to ask you to please remove your shoes and socks . . .

What’s that? You want to know the purpose of this site? The PURPOSE?!? You can’t handle the purpose!

Listen, I’m not going to lie to you, I secured this tiny speck of cyberspace so I could enlighten, frighten and deconstruct some Michael Crichton. (My apologies, I rhyme when I get nervous. And evidently spout modified Jack Nicolson quotes.)

maiden_voyage_brentanic

I don’t know what to say. People have personal sites. They use them to speak their minds and demonstrate their narcissistic tendencies. I want that too. If my musings aren’t something you’re interested in reading, then kindly bug-off. Because truth be known, if self-deprecating humor and witty observations don’t rev your engine, then by George no one can help you. And I mean NO ONE.

But don’t mistake this for a blog. This is not a blog. I told a friend recently (back me up, friend), that blogs are no longer hip. (The trendy use of the word “blog,” mind you.) Which means you won’t hear me say, “Hey, check out my blog, I just posted a blog post that mentions a blog comment on so-and-so’s blog.” Won’t. Happen.

Not sure yet what to replace the word “blog” with, though. Maybe brentonic? Or braingasm?A new braingasm is up over at BrentonEvans.com! Mayor Goldie Wilson says, “I like the sound of that!”

Most updates will center around my life: interests, observations, experiences, etc. And just so you know, I subscribe to the philosophy that good writing makes most things more compelling; even though, truthfully, it means absolutely nothing here.

But I must warn you, I have an indispensable predisposition towards humor. People call me light-hearted all the time, even though it makes me mad when they do. I have to point out that my heart weighs exactly the same as any other adult American male.

So, c’mon, I urge you, be a sport and give this site a good-old-college try for a few weeks. If you don’t like it, you can go back to your little Facebook quizzes and continue your lame, never-going-to-be-read, Twitter replies to @aplusk.

Speaking of tweets, you can follow me in shorter spells via Twitter and/or Facebook, if you’d like. Your satisfaction is not my number one priority, however.

Next post should be up soon. I’ve also got a couple of brand new features waiting to get some braingasm playtime. Those will roll out in short order now that the site is up.

Very truly yours.

One Response to “The Maiden Voyage”

  1. Matty says:

    Alright, my friend. I sense a fresh and renewed effort here. Bring on the braingasm you lighthearted man.

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